What does Worship mean to you? Have there been times where you have felt like you have come to Church and received nothing out of it? Have there been times where you have blamed the Praise team for not leading you well enough, so that you were more moved to worship and by that you GOT SOMETHING OUT OF IT? I know that I have had those moments, I think all of us have, but really, ourselves are the only ones to blame in whether or not we have strong, meaningful worship.
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."
Jeremiah 17:7-8
It's about being truly ROOTED in God. If we are completely rooted in God we will always have an amazing time of worship.Our fruit will never wither in droughts, even in times of hardships we will find ways of worship.
How you might ask?Ask questions! Think personally. Apply personally. Don't just SAY the words but look into them deeper. As you might repeat something like, "Hallelujah, Praise the Lord" what does that actually mean to you? Why are you saying Hallelujah? What are you praising God for? Remember Praise focuses on what God is like. So how does God's being effect you, that makes you want to respond in complete gratitude and thankfulness? Rather than thinking, "I can't believe this is the 10th time we are saying this line" think of 20 different characteristics of God and how each one has personally touched your life, so that each time you shout out "Hallelujah, Praise the Lord" it becomes more and more personal. Worship becomes deeper because it becomes a personal response to who God is!
As we truly recognize what God has done for us, our form of worship becomes so real and overwhelming because we are just overwhelmed in gratitude (got a story for this one too :) ).
Tina challenged us as well in our worship to have Biblical worship, to change our idea of worship and what it currently means to us. To erase judgment of how ourselves and others worship, to be outrageously crazy in worship and to create new, meaningful ways of personal worship. She encouraged us to draw these things out in creative means.
At the beginning of the week she challenged us to write, as a team, our own song of Thanksgiving. We came together and amazingly put together a beautiful, heartfelt song in only two days!! Unfortunately, I am not sure how I can share the tune of the song but possibly when I am back home I will sing it for you :)
I AM THANKFUL
Chorus:
Oh, I am thankful
I’m full of wonder
I am inspired
By all that you have done and you’re yet to do --- God
You bring me to freedom, with your truth and your life
The sun rises across the horizon, it’s a limitless life
I see your face in the stars
I hear your voice in the sea
I feel your peace and your strength
You’re setting me free
Chorus
Your loves always churning, like the biggest of waves
Your heart overwhelms me, I stand amazed
Nothing can ever contain
This mad passion I have for you
You’re giving me reasons to dance
I’m being renewed
Chorus
Beautiful, eh! And straight from the heart with thanksgiving!
Okay now for some of the other personal stories of the week.
Friday morning, for our last class we went into Bridgetown. Earlier in the week we had been given blocks of wood to paint which we took with us this morning. Tina again encouraged and challenged us to go out in groups of twos and threes and look for places/people that a) you could strongly feel the Spirits presence and/or b) where you could strongly feel the absence of the Spirit.
I headed out with Claudia and our leader Sarah. Sarah had a strong feeling to go to the Immigration building. She had often wanted to pray over the building. She had many stories to share of frustrations, rudeness, complications, etc. Over the last couple of years there has been a few staff here abruptly sent home after having their visas denied. She talked about too the hardships that the refugees from Guyana face when they try to enter. The immigration office gives them a very hard time and then if they are one of the lucky ones to be able to stay they face racism from the people here...including those from the Church.
Anyhow, so we felt that God was calling us to walk around the building 7 times, like in the story of the wall of Jericho. Each time stopping at the beginning to pray about what we should pray about next. The fun, extra part that God placed there, were the men outside the building. Apparently the back parking lot is used for car washing by some Bajans as a way to make money. After the second time seeing us pass them by they started to laugh, "Are you ladies lost? Need a tour guide?" We laughed with them and said no we were fine. Then they started to count how many times they were seeing us walk by. Each time we explained a little more what we were doing. During our last time we prayed for these men and we felt led to give our art block to one of the men. My block was of a sunrise with a heart in the middle.
On the back I had written, this block has been specifically made special for you. I explained (after he asked) that the heart represented the love we had for him but more so the love that Christ had for him. Claudia said she saw something in his eyes when I spoke these words. I don't know what he may have done with the block afterwards, but that is where we trust in God to work through the various seeds that are planted. At the end of this we all met back up in the main square and sang songs of worship. It was so moving. Various people stopped to see what was going on, some even pulling out cameras and video cameras!
Sunday morning, we headed to a Wesliyan Church to once again lead worship. Once again it appeared as though the church had an "institutionalized feeling" and over structured feeling. Bekah and Jess joked about divine movement and how they should breakout in crazy worship like Tina talked about. Well when Beverly (YWAM Staff, her church) led us in opening prayer she spoke the exact words that Bekah and Jess had spoken and it felt as confirmation. Oh yeah and also a bunch of the Logos people came to the same Church, which was neat. So anyhow the worship started (which a number of our YWAMers took part in musically) and the Spirit moved. There was dancing and jumping and a number of the members got involved. It was amazing to see.
But it didn't just stop there for us. The next night, Monday, a bunch of us went to the final Monday night worship on the Logos ship as they were setting sail for St. Lucia that very night at midnight. Okay, wait back up just slightly...early that day I had a very much needed conversation with one of the staff leaders. The last couple of weeks I've been struggling in various ways, not always knowing or understanding what the struggle was. Feeling like I had forgotten understandings that God had allow me to receive. Things seemed so jumbled in my head and I felt like I was constantly spinning, having a harder time fully grasping things. I needed a break I felt like - just some normalcy for a while. During the conversation, I began to remember truths that God had put on my heart and I began to feel some peace. I really needed to get some of that out because I felt like it had been blocking me from fully worshiping (because my mind wouldn't stop running all the time - oh this reminds me of the saying, 'Sometimes you need to stop talking to yourself and start LISTENING' :) )
Okay now bounce back ahead. So our wonderful friend Andrew from Sri Lanka, who we had had the pleasure of getting to know (crazy man on fire for God - he was awesome), led the evenings worship. The band played numerous Hillsong songs (along with others) and it was awesome. Our group was up at the front to the right and the Spirit was moving. Dean, Bekah, Jessica and I were right up front and oh man I wish you could have been there. I felt so incredibly free in worship. I am so thankful for these beautiful women who let it all out in their worship, who encourage me to be more like them (who are 10 years younger than I). I just felt like I was just able to give my complete all in Worship and really really mean it. It wasn't for show, it was just between God and I. During a slower song, as I swayed back and forth moving my arms like in a waltz/ballet movement, with my eyes closed I could picture God holding my hands and dancing with me, swinging me around like the little girl that he loves so much. I had the biggest smile on my face, I just felt completely overwhelmed in JOY. It was definitely the most moving and personal worship experience I have ever had. So much so that at the end of it all, Bekah started to talk to me about something and I couldn't stop laughing. So much JOY had built up inside of me and the JOY was pouring out in laughter. I told Bekah I'm not laughing at you, I just can't stop. Bekah was like, You've been speared by the Holy Spirit!! Jess came over to see what was going on and they started chanting out things, Release the Spirit, pour out the Spirit. In the midst of it, I slowly collapsed to the ground with them hovering over me throwing their hands all over me - Kadeen joining in and smearing my glasses all up. All the while I am completely unable to stop laughing. It was amazing. I really felt annointed by the Holy Spirit in that time. I really encourage you to have a moment like that! Wow, does it ever knock the socks off of you. I felt like I was vibrating for a few hours afterwards. I felt so alive.
After the worship, Andrew prayed an amazing prayer over us, praying for fire to reign down on us. It was so moving. Then we bumped into Jane back down on Deck 4 and she told us of a vision she had had earlier of us. She saw us all and then we turned into all these beautiful but extremely unique of eachother, gold crowns. She saw that we were annointed as righteousness in God. She saw that as we recognized eachothers beautiful differences (as we all had strong different characteristics) how as they came together they rose into the most beautiful crown of unity. That when we went out on outreach, God was going to do amazing things, using us. This was so much more encouraging then you could ever know. Everyone here is so beautiful, but there has been something not quite right. A sort of separation in the group, selfishness replacing selflessness. Though we are kind and loving to eachother, you could just sense it. However, after these last few days I believe that God has brought us together in a new way and we have taken one huge step forward on the way to this beautiful unity in the group. I am so excited for this group now. I really believe in this group and really believe that God is going to work us into the mission he has already started in South America in ways that are going to be amazing. Though, don't get me wrong, it's not going to be perfectly easy from this point. I am sure we will continue to have to strive to keep this unity, that there may be times we take a step back but I think we have come to a new place and I am so excited!
Okay, one last pesonal story. Last week Wednesday morning, I got up early again and went out for a walk with God in the sugar cane fields and then down to the road and back. As I was walking back, I was coming upon these short cement walls (like a bridge) on either side of the road. I felt that God was telling me to take a moment and to sit down on it. So I did. After about 5 minutes or so I then felt that I was to get up and continue on. As I got up, my head was still faceing down and I was noticing the puddles on the ground from the rains (as it had been drizzling at times during my walk too). All of a sudden I noticed a rainbow in the puddle and thought, oh thats so pretty...but then I noticed it in the next puddle and thought how peculiar. THEN I had this feeling to look up and there before me were two BEAUTIFUL rainbows! WOW! I really believe that God had me take a moment to sit, to be still as he prepared and designed these promises for me. God was sending me reminders of his Covenant and promises to me. I was so moved singing songs of worship (I had my iPod on). A man was walking from the opposite way and I stopped him to see if he had noticed the rainbows, he had not and there we stood for the next few moments talking about how great God is and his love for us. I am so thankful that I opened my eyes to that PERSONAL moment that God gave specifically to me.
So I encourage you - OPEN YOUR EYES! God is constantly sending you PERSONAL messages of love that are specific to your needs. God is GOOD ALL the TIME! All the TIME God is GOOD!!
Blessings!
1 comment:
Thinking of you and you are in my prayers. Thanks for sharing so much stuff, Steph! I tried to read it all... I like your personal moment of double rainbows :) God certainly can reach us so deeply in those moments!!
Post a Comment