A Women's Worth

How many of us women at some point have felt worthless? Sadly, I think that is all of us. How many of us have felt unimportant or degraded as a person or our opinions not heard because of our gender?

This week our group has been holding a number of seminars on the value and worth of a women. In a culture where women are unvalued, used as punching bags or objects to have sex with - self worth is a thing of the past.
In total we are holding 6 seminars for the following age groups:
1) Albanian Church women
2) Albanian Church teens
3) Roma Women
4) Roma girls
5) At risk Albanian women
6) Roma Boys - to encourage them to see the value of women as God created them.

Each seminar has been geared to each group personally but include the same foundational information which touches on identity, what it means to be a women and what it doesn't mean, talents and gifts, love - what it is and isn't as well as abuse, trafficking and begging.

Today we shared with the Roma women. In the end, unfortunately, only 3 women came but this session touched the depth of my soul. The three women were all mothers of children that were a part of our summer camps and who we have formed relationships with from our neighbourhood visits.

The one women, we'll call her Litina, is a mother of five beautiful, vibrant children whom we just can't get enough of. The eldest, we'll call Johno, at 14 years, has a different father from the rest. He has grown up watching a man that is not his father, continually beat up his mother Litina. Some times to the point where her face has been almost unrecognizable. Only God knows how she has survived. The life of abuse is reality for most of these Roma women. Despite what the children of this mother have grown up with, they all are kind, loving, always smiling and laughing, being goofy and just acting like kids. Latina is a Christian women and thankfully knows pieces of God's love for her and shares it with her children.

The two girls, Pearl and Audrey, leading this particular seminar entered into the description of what love isn't:
Being emotionally hurt is NOT an action of love.
Being physically hurt is NOT an action of love.
Being sexually degraded or humiliated is NOT an action of love.

It was at this point my world once again crumbled as Litina interrupted and spoke up.
"I'm 28 years old and I have five children and my life is over. I live my life for my kids, I endure the beatings for them. If I leave my husband, they will end up on the streets. Now we have a home at least."

I...am 28 years old. ME, Stephanie...28 years old. As I write this sentence, tears once again come instantly to my eyes. Sure I am close to my thirties, and though it gets joked about I am still told again and again how young I am, how I have so much ahead of me still and here...here is Litina, the SAME AGE saying her life is over. That her life no longer matters - yes for the reason so that it won't be over for her children, but still - over?! How do we allow this world, how do we allow men - to define us this way! God created us for so much more.

God created man and women. Man and women - equally out of his continual love and he calls us to follow in these ways of love. The honour of being able to bear and raise children, of being the heart of a home, of bringing love and care into these children's lives, to be models for them - this is what it is to be a women of God. To be a protector and provider, yes, to be strength and light, to bring a consistent flow of love to them, but it is not a job. These women are not just an object, a slave, with no rights or dignity. They deserve so much more, women deserve more. We are all individuals, each with a unique identity, every part of our being was God designed and hand-crafted. We are all special and beautiful beings that Jesus died for.

Latina is no different than I, we are both women created by God. Neither of us deserving to be degraded or abused and yet, at this moment, one of us is. This knowledge of knowing what she lives within each day is heartbreaking and tears at me inside. I am so thankful to know that still she understands God love is for her too. I am thankful that she knows God hasn't abandoned her and that he has a special place waiting just for her.

Latina also shared a story about her sister, who at age 13, was sold into prostitution. Actually, many women are brides at these early ages - 13, 14, 15. The family lied as to where she was, saying she was in a hospital for an accident far away. Latina continually prayed for her sister, never giving up. Today she could share with us that now, her sister is married, has one child and has a good paying job and is no longer having to sell of her body. Latina recognizes the importance of prayer and that it does make a difference, even if for whatever reason, she is still in her own circumstances.

I don't know where to go from here exactly. I am thankful for the relationships we have made with these women, I'm thankful for all who have had a chance to share of God's love to these women. To encourage them again and again and to remind them of their invaluable worth. God has been putting thoughts and ideas on my heart. I don't know what they all mean or where they might go, but I pray that perhaps, this won't be the last time I see these women.

For now, however, they are in my prayers, my heart and my mind. I will miss them so much, as I will miss the children too.